Invader Naruto
by EvilFuzzy9
Summary: Invader Zim is in Naruto's world! Madness ensues and all hell breaks loose. Chapter 5 is up. Fem!DeiNaru, SasuSaku, NaruHina hints. Stupid perverts and traumatized prodigies, oh my!
1. Enter: Team 13!

INVADER NARUTO.

An Invader Zim Naruto crossover.

A/N: I just thought of this and it is completely random. It is rated T for absurd self-inserts, rubber piggies, ramen, gameslaves, uber-sadistic jounin instructors, and nubs of doom.

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It was a calm and sunny day of no particular importance in wherever-the-the-heck-it-is-that-Zim-goes-to-school. Now to avoid the pointless plot hole filling one would normally have to do with a cross over, I will use what a clever author does at a time like this, I invoke a time-skip, right… now.

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Now Zim, Dib, and Gaz are now genin under the tutelage of me, EvilFuzzy9 who will now be referred to as EF9, just 'cause I'm lazy like that… yeah.

"Now let me get this straight, we are in an altern-,"

"Hai," I said interrupting Dib.

"But wai-," started Dib as he was cut off by Zim.

"And _YOU_ are going to teach us powerful techniques called jutsus, correct?" questioned aforementioned invader.

"Hai, eventually." I said answering the bug-eyed freak (in this fic Zim won't need to disguise himself, but GIR shall still were his dog-suit for the purpose of future gags).

"Hey! How come you didn-,"started Dib but he was cut off by a thoroughly irate Gaz.

"Shut up, you're annoying," she said.

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EF9: How's that, well, should I continue this or kick it to the curb? Please review and give me your opinion, and I accept flames even though they encourage DarkEvilFuzzy666 shudder and believe me you don't want to encourage HIM.


	2. A New Rival Team 8 vs Zim!

EF9: Hello! I can't believe no one reviewed!

DEF666: I can, you're a pathetic excuse for a writer.

EF9: Hey! I resent that! What about another day!

DEF666: Ugh, one good submission a writer, does not make.

EF9: Oi, pardon DarkEvilFuzzy666 he truly is a lousy muse. Meh, anyway, to present the disclaimer is Aburame Shino! applause

Shino:…

EF9: And there you have it! On with the show

Shino:…

DEF666: I hate all of you.

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After establishing that they were now cadet ninjas, team 13 have decided to return to there respective homes which had inexplicably gotten transported there. Upon returning home Zim got tackled by a pile of ramen cups.

" HI THERE," eagerly shouted the pile.

" Greetings GIR, I assume you retrieved the scrolls," Zim said to the pile.

" YUP!" replied the pile as it exploded away to reveal a pitifully misshapen 'dog' holding an orange book in it's arms, which it then dutifully deposited on the floor in front of it's master.

"Hmmm, interesting," said Zim as he opened the book to see a faded message on the inside of the cover. The only words he could make out were 'student', 'present', 'insperation', and something about bullets and spirals. It was signed with a disturbingly happy frog on the bottom.

"Meh," and he tossed it aside… where it was caught by a pale individual with lavender eyes and violet hair, who then turned beet red upon glancing at the cover.

"Meep!" went one Hyuuga Hinata.

"Huh," went Kurenai as she read the title 'Icha Icha Paradise: Of Hungry Foxes, Cherry Trees, And Pools Of Lavender'. "Oi," she went, as she sweat dropped at the cheesy title.

"Hey, what's with the green dog?" asked Kiba.

"Arf,"

"Hai, Akamaru, it does smell like Naruto. Hmm... weird."

'Naruto, huh? He must be the one who GIR got that odd book from,' thought Zim. Who was unaware of a certain bug user look him up and down witha slight blush on his concealed face.

' Wow he's cute,' Shino thought. (A/N: No this is not yaoi, I just thought it would be funny since Zim kinda looks like abug, yeah.)

"I WANNA WATCH THE MONKEY," GIR shouted, staring at Kiba.

'Amazing' thought Kurenai, ' that dog is dumber than Kiba.' She then looked over to see Akamaru sniffing himself((1)) and Kiba doing likewise, 'then again, maybe not' as she sweat dropped.

THUD " W-wh-who's a-at th-the d-d-d-door?" asked a shaken Hinata. The door swung open to reveal...

EF9: HA! A cliff hanger... I'm so evil. Well please review I need to know what you people think. Tell me if you think if Ishould continue this fic and hope I can salvage what could be a good idea. Or if I should let it go to join the other lost ideas in the grave yard of my mind. And yes, I know my first chapter stunk, which is why I'm going to put this on hiatus until I have enough reviews to know what the public wants.

TTFN!


	3. Yosh! Dynamic Entry!

Fairy Kyuubi: Well, this is a crossover?

EF9:Hai

Fairy Kyuubi: And I am just a muse? I can't be subjected to cruel gimmicks?

EF9: Pretty much.

Fairy Kyuubi: Fair enough. EF9 doesn't own me, Naruto, or Invader Zim.

EF9: Right, all credit for Fairy Kyuubi Goes to LackOfName.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOO

As Dib and Gaz got to their house, a small explosion, followed by a loud cry of "DYNAMIC ENTRY TIMES FOUR!"

There in the clearing smoke stood four figures, who, by Dib's reckoning, were a blind girl ((1)), a Star Wars fanatic ((2)), and two … things.

As Dib was staring and Gaz was… being Gaz, yeah, Thing1 spoke.

"Greetings, new shinobi of the leaf. By how cool you and hip you are acting I can see that you are exemplary examples of the fiery spirit of the springtime of youth!"

"Gai-sensei you are so youthful and hip!

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"Shut. Up." Said Gaz in an eerily low voice. And Dib was shaking in his Mysterious Mysteries brand boots.( Gulp I think we should leave them there for a couple hours.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOO

Naruto: So… we are supposed to occupy the readers with some kind of spur of the moment sketch?

Chouji: Yup. That's what the boss said.

Ino: Shika, dear((3)), how do you think I look in this dress.

Shikamaru: Troublesome woman.

Sakura: SASUKE-KUN! You look hot! Would you like me to fan you?

Sasuke: You want to fan an Uchiha((4))?

Itachi: Hahaha. Foolish nii-san.

Kisame: Yeah what Itachi said.

Sasori: Hey, Deidara, want some shark-fin soup?

Deidara: No, yeah. Hey! points at Naruto Who is the hottie?

Zetsu: Eye twitches

Tobi: OBITOBITOBITO! Tobi is a big _fan _of Itachi((5))!

Itachi: You're in.

AL: Itachi you weasel((6))! Nobody joins without my permission!

Everyone:sweatdrop

Kakashi: Yo.

Sakura and Naruto: YOU'RE LATE, THE SKETCH IS ALREADY OVER!

Fairy Kyuubi: Review or I'll gouge your eyes out with Mr. Sporky.

EF9: Okay. sweatdrop and laugh nervously while backing away slowly

((1)) Neji's byakugan makes him look blind and the long silky hair is girly.

((2)) The buns make her look like Leiah (sp?)

((3)) Shika means deer, it's a pun.

((4)) Uchiha means fan, once again it's a pun.

((5)) Many believe that Tobi is Uchiha Obito, now look at 4.

((6)) Itachi means weasel, yet_ another_ translation pun!


	4. Of Stalkers and Psycopaths

Nibi(Two Tailed Cat if you don't know): Why am I here?

DEF666: Oh, I'm so sorry. You shouldn't expect everything to be as accommodating as the Akastuki demon extraction chamber. (Note the sarcasm.)

Kyuubi: Hey, cutie. How's about you and me go out on the town, baby?

DEF666: Sorry, I don't swing that way. Nothing personal.

Kyuubi: I was talking to the lady da-

EF9: (dropping from ceiling) Can it, light bulb butt.

Nibi: Where were you?

EF9: Is that the kind of greeting I get? After going through seven levels of Hades to get the plot for this chapter?

Shukaku: (Appearing out of thick air because he says 'thin air' is soo clichéd Thank Sir Chris for that line) What are you talking about? You just built off of a suggestion in a review from some guy. (GOMEN NASAI! I can't remember your name! Bad me! Bad!)

EF9: (Doing an adorable chibi-pout) Just shut up and say the disclaimer.

Shukaku: EvilFuzzy9 does not own 'Invader Zim', 'Naruto', or Fairy Kyuubi.

EF9: (Going all 'anime-depression') Great, now I'm depressed. Excuse while I curl up and die.

DEF666: OOH! Can I join you?

Kyuubi: (Grabbing me by the collar) Oh no you don't. You need to stay here and type the story.

EF9: Aww… you take the fun out of everything.

(With team 8 at Zim's house.)

When Kiba, Shino, Hinata, and Kurenai turned to the door they saw a green blur shoot out the door; knocking over team 10.

"Yo." Greeted Asuma.

DOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOOMDOO

Zim collided with a certain flustered fox-boy, (three guesses who and the first two don't count) causing him to drop a letter smelling heavily of cheap cologne.

"Naruto, hand over the note so that I can finish delivering it for my 'friend'," Sasuke threatened, in the cold, rarely emotional tone he always uses, because as the Uchiha prodigy he had to keep his cool. No not even this was worth raising his voice more than a decibel higher.

"Not on your life _lover-boy_," Naruto said emphasizing these two words like they were the secret of the universe, and to the general public they would be treated as such. For the village's problem-child, Naruto Uzumaki, who bore the unspoken burden((1)) like it was nothing (which to him it probably was, this idea of course only scared all those old enough to remember **_IT_**((2)), even more.), was inferring that Sasuke, _THE _Sasuke Uchiha, the villages prize duck-butt-head, actually feelings about another human other than hatred or extreme dislike!

Zim, of course, was getting annoyed at there immature behavior, so he did the only rational thing. He smacked them upside the head and told them to shut up or else he would disembowel them and crushing all of their fingers and toes with thumbscrews. Well okay, rational to _him_.

Sakura who had been watching this exchange of particularly volatile threats and insults; sweat-dropped, anime-fainted, developed an uncontrollable twitch and tic in her left eye, turned green, and fainted _for real_, in that order.

"Wow, I haven't seen Sasuke that scared since I tricked Naruto into thinking that Sasuke was hiding a coupon for a life-time supply of miso ramen in his kunai pouch."

"Wait that was you!" Sakura pointed an accusing finger at their ever-late sensei. "Sasuke had to go to therapy for months after that!"

"Actually, he's still going." Pointed out the masked scarecrow curving his visible eye upwards like he found it funny, which he probably did.

Sasuke, meanwhile, rolled himself into fetal position in a corner, complete with rocking back and forth, and alternately sucking his thumb and chanting 'The crazy can't get me, the crazy can't get me' etc.

As this was happening, a blue haired Konoha kunoichi and everyone's favorite, seemingly androgenous, AWOL iwa-nin were watching (With heart-eyes, nose-bleeds, drool hanging from their mouths, and a pink background with sparkles a sakura petals.) Naruto. Who was now on the side chatting animatedly about various bloodline-limits of the leaf village with Zim and GIR, who was in tape-recorder mode.

'Now let us check up on the membranes.' Gaz was once again playing her game-slave, Dib was doing as Sasuke, and was sitting in the corner, looking thoroughly traumatized, Thing1 and Thing2 were on the ground, in a mangled smoking heap, and Neji and Tenten were having a conversation. Or more accurately Tenten was energetically and enthusiastically, narrating and reenacting her most recent spar with Lee (during the process of which she accidentally spilt a glass of water, Grovel you perverts, grovel but she just ignored it , not even noticing Neji activate his byakugan half-way through.)

Speaking of Neji, he was standing there, with bits of toilet paper up his nose and much more than little drool running down his chin. He even asked Tenten to turn a bit.((3))

After a bit more of this idiocy, professor Membrane walked through the door, and kicked them out of his house.

EF9: Well, there's another chapter for ya.

Nibi: Review…

Shukaku: Or…

DEF666: Else!

Fairy Kyuubi: For those who do review… COOKIES! And blackmail photos/ fan-girl collectibles of Sasuke from Ocarina of Konoha by LackOfName read to learn more, yeah!


	5. Tentononomy: Egos collide!

EF9:Hello there! Faithful viewers! I am here with another installment of Invader Naruto! I've decided to try something new this chapter, dialogue will be in script format, while I will write normal for action scenes and descriptions!

Kyuubi: And with the disclaimer we have Maito Gai!

Gai:(foaming at mouth) YOOUUUUTTTHHHHH!

Kyuubi: Now on with sorry excuse for a story!

EF9: Hey!

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The next day in the hokage's office there were four figures, three of which were engaged in the traditional round of 'glare-at-the-others-until-I-prove-I'm-better-than-them'. They were Red (one of the tallest), Purple (the other Tallest), Tsunade (please don't say you don't know who that is), and Shizune (the one with the pig).

Red: (Glare)

Purple: (Glare)

Tsunade: (Glare)

Shizune: (Whimper)

Tonton: (Squeal!)

Suddenly the door crumbled, and there stood two very short figures.

Red: (Twitch)

Purple: No!

Tsunade: What the f-

Shizune: (clamping Tsunade's mouth shut) No! You have company!

Zim: I AM ZIM!

Tonton: Squeal!

Tenten: MOM!

Dib: What on earth!

GIR: PIGGY!

GIR then runs off with Tenten, chanting 'PIGGY' all the way.

Everyone (except Gaz because she's busy playing videogames): (Sweat-drop)

Tonton: Squeal. (translated: that girl scares me.)

Me (EF9): KAWAII! (Start playing with Tonton 'cause pigs are cool((1)))

After that Tsunade told everyone to get the hell out of her office. Once everyone was off to have a day filled with… well filler adventures, Tsunade, Shizune, Tonton, Red, Purple, and Shikamaru((2)) continued the meeting doing political leader-type things (consisting mostly of naps, sake-breaks, games of connect-four, and inappropriate comments from Jiraiya who kept popping in and out.)

As for the others: Teams 8, 13, and team Gai trained. Deidara and Hinata stalked Naruto, who they followed into an alley. Naruto ran from his creepy stalker and stumbled in on Sasuke and Sakura who were half-naked and in a compromising position (Sasuke: Hey, I have Hormones too!), Naruto later made several visits to the therapist. Kiba disappeared while helping his sister shop. And Shino visited a convenience store where he was seen purchasing several cans of raid.

What will happen next? Review my story and tell me things you may like to see in a sequel. Yes Invader Naruto is finished… BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE DONE YET! Me and Kyuubi will make this a series and go as long as we can with this!

Kyuubi: So R and R!

EF9: Tell me what you want and I'll try to deliver!

Kyuubi: GRAAGH! (Brandishes spork a random passerby) POSTMAN!

Postman: Shut up twinkle-toes.

Kyuubi:** OH! IT IS ON LITTLE MAN!**

TTFN! (Postman: Not the face!)


End file.
